Hiking Adventure

I've been trying to post about vacation for a week but there's too much to say. So instead I'll preserve one great memory. We went on two great hikes to two different waterfalls. One of the hikes was 5 miles long and Abby did not cry or squawk once. She just enjoyed the right and would lean into our ears and say"hi" and giggle. She was smiling almost the entire time.
The second hike we took was one of the most popular trails Laurell Falls. At the end you are standing in the middle of the falls, behind you the water is cascading down another ledge. It was beautiful but crowded. While hiking up to this waterfall we came upon a big crowd of people and there up ahead was a black bear. She made a motion like she was going to charge the path and the crowd gave her even more room. She crossed the path and started climbing up the mountain. Then she stopped and looked back. There was one of her little cubs. As the cub joined her we saw another cub already up the mountain. All three of them disappeared in the trees. It was amazing and a little scary. But what I really want to remember is that sweet little voice in my ear giggling and saying "HI".

Laurell Falls

Mama Bear and Cub

Two happy hikers

Yes, a million times, Yes

Today I had a great talk with a co-worker. She has just come back to the work force after the challenge/privilege of being a stay at home mom for 9 years while her children were young. I told her that I constantly feel stressed out because I want to have more time to do everything - relax, cook, clean, just enjoy my family. I told her how I dream of being at home full time or part time but deep down know it would be different and the same. I still wouldn't have any time, my house would be a little less messy and I would probably long for companionship. Then I read the following blog post by another mother:


I think moms, whether we work to balance being a full time mom while also working outside of the home or whether we are at home for this time in our lives and strive to find fulfillment in the role as "just" a mother, while taking a break from other parts of ourselves...we like to be noticed. We like the pat on the back. We like for others to say, "wow, How do you do that?" It makes that hefty weight that often settles on our shoulders saying we aren't doing enough, we aren't succeeding enough, we aren't good enough...it makes that weight lighter. It makes us throw our shoulders back and realize that the lives we lead, the choices we balance, the roles we play - they matter. They are hard. And we are good enough. We are doing it - day in and day out. We GET to be mothers. We GET to have less selfish time these days. We are noticed and validated - whether anyone tells us or not.

This is exactly how I have been feeling. Other women I work with seem to be able to keep their gardens in good shape, their houses cleaned, balanced nutritious meals everyday and I wonder why can't I do it. Someone innocently asked me why can't I do these things after Abby goes to bed and then I almost cried. She wasn't being hurtful but it made me feel like I SHOULD be doing more. I just can't. 8+ hours of charting, educating, noise and then to come home to a second harder job of being a parent, forget it. I just need sleep to refuel.

So my mommy friends out there I thank you again for your support and kind words. Keep them coming and I will for you. Because we need it. I acknowledge your sacrifices whether you work 8-10 hours at a job you tolerate only to come home tired to a crabby toddler or you are home all day with pets and kids alternating between adorable and obnoxious. You are the best mom for your child/ren and they are lucky and happy to have you. And I am glad to know you.