Emerson - 1 month

Hi friends and family.  Emerson just wanted to give a little wave and a smile.  

 Thursday we had his one month appointment and after asking the doctor why our baby always seems so sad and he went into a full Emerson screaming fit for her pleasure we received a prescription for anti-reflux medication.  I have never been more proud of my little guy.

He's taken 3 doses and he seems so much better.  He is still spitting up but not every time he eats.  Grandma Kathy even gave him a 2 oz bottle that he kept down today!!!  This made me happiest of all because know I can leave the house GUILT FREE.  It also means Tim and I can take turns putting Abby to bed because he can give Emerson a bottle.  Also, he's taken several naps today, did tummy time, sat in his bouncy sit contently for 35 minutes, and "played" in his play yard with Abby without crying.  This is how I remember it being with Abby and I feel so relieved.  He still has small crying fits but things are looking much better.  It's so frustrating to know your child is hurting and that there is nothing you can do to help.

 His stats this month were 10# 10 oz (75th% ile), head was 75th% ile and length 22 1/2 inches (85th % ile).  Uncle Jay says he's going to be a big boy like his uncle and Daddy.
  

Emerson started smiling at Thanksgiving and a few days later started making cooing sounds.  He's very interested in what Abby is doing when she isn't right in his face.  He sleeps in his swing or the car seat so his meals will stay down and can sleep for 4-5 hours at night if he is comfortable.

Abby is in love and in many ways too helpful.  She wants to carry him, burp him, dress him, shove his nuk in his face and show him how to play with every toy they both own.  For the first few weeks of his life she called him "baby person" but has taken to calling him Emerson.  Tim and I miss it but know this nickname will stick with the rest of our family even if Abby doesn't say it anymore.  She is a really loving sister just a little too strong and loud, but she is so helpful getting me towels, burp rags and throwing away diapers as I need it.  Her temper tantrums are getting stronger and longer so this weekend will be a special one for Abby.  Saturday she will have an adventure with just Daddy and Sunday with just Mommy.  That's right folks, Mommy is going to give up precious football time for this little girl.

Waiting

He only sleeps this good in someone's arms.

Have you ever seen an infant spit up/vomit so hard that it is pouring out of their nose and mouth?  It's pretty traumatic and unfortunately I've seen this 4 or 5 times now in 2 weeks.  I'm typing with one hand, wishing Tim was home and waiting for the nurse to call.

Last week the pediatrician told me all babies have reflux and since he gained weight they don't need to treat it.  With each day I grow more anxious about feeding him.  He always seems hungry but the doctor said they spit up the extra they take in.  Common advice is to give small, frequent meals.  What does that mean?  How often and how long?  How do I know how much he is getting?  To all the patients I have given this advise to I apologize.

I'm really not prepared for this.  All my pregnancy worries were about how would this baby affect Abby.  So here I sit worrying, wondering, wishing and doubting myself.  Hoping there will be advise soon to ease his discomfort and my anxiety.  Come on phone please ring.

The second child

 It's official, I have a full blown case of mama guilt.  I'm trying hard to enjoy these first days at home with two but you're stretched so thin it's hard to ever feel like you are doing a good job.

I feel guilty that Emerson is not getting the attention that Abby did when she was born from us and the extended family.  Yes, that is true but he won't remember right?  I feel guilty because we don't take a dozen pictures a day of him.  In fact a whole week probably went by that we didn't get a photo.  I feel guilty for continually comparing him to Abby -super baby, one of the easiest babies ever born.

Abby is as wild as ever, which prior to a second child I loved.  Everything she said or did was so funny or cute to me, unless she was harassing the cat.  Now all these endearing qualities drive me insane.  I worry that she feels left out or less loved because Mom is busy more often and doesn't play as much.  I hate that she has picked up the catch phrase "not yet", because we say it too often to her now.  I worry that at night when she is crying about having more milk or a certain stuffed animal or a diaper change that she is really saying I need one more hug.   I worry that she's not as happy as she used to be.

 But these pictures of Abby with her little brother give me hope that despite all this hardship for Tim and I now, that these two will be close.  I hope that they will love each other their whole lifes and be each other's first call (well maybe second after Mom) with all good or bad news in their lifes.  I hope that they will be good to each other and close friends.  I hope that their kids will grow up together and share every birthday.  I hope they will be in each other weddings. I hope their spouses get a long.

Most of all I hope that they will have as much fun together as these little rascals did and that they will always have each other to go to when mom and dad are driving them crazy.