Time in a bottle

I finally feel like a mom. It's only been 3 days since I reduced my working hours in half but I feel amazing. When I start to feel stressed I remember I don't have to work 5-8 days straight this week. Cleaning can wait, laundry too. I can sit and sip tea or just take a few breathes. This weekend I took sometime for myself and watched a stupid movie, drank too many cosmos, watched all 4 playoff games with my hubby. Not once did I feel guilty. But most exciting to me was I really enjoyed being Abby's mother.

When I would get home from work i would always have a list of things that had to get done before I woke up the next day. My mind was like an overworked computer that kept generating more and more lists. I just wanted Abby to play by herself so I could get all these things done. I gave myself a time limit so I would still spent time with her but I was so tired it wasn't enjoyable. Maybe that sounds terrible too you but working full time and trying to be the kind of mom I wanted to be was not working out for me.

I know this honeymoon phase will pass but right now I love being with her. Even if we are reading books in the same room or she is playing with her leapfrog computer while I update my price book. A long time ago a friend posted about how she knew every inch of her daughter including this one freckle behind her ear. I cried so hard reading that heart felt post because I didn't feel like I had time or made the time to really study Abby like that. These three days I really studied her and learned a lot. She is trying to repeat everything we say but I wasn't really listening before so I didn't notice. She always gingerly touches the cat every time she passes her. She knows that certain toys go together (i.e her blocks go in one container and her fake food in her grocery cart). I had thrown a bunch of stuff in a drawer so I could sweep and she put everything where it belonged. She has so many phrases now: "oh no", "where you go", "let's go", "night night", "bye bye", "all better", "come back?", "I see you", "where abby", peek a bo "peep a bo".

I'm so glad that we slowed down our lives and will have this extra time. I barely remember the first year of Abby's life and I don't want to miss anything else. This week we have two crafts and one field trip planned. Wish us luck!! Here's to more joyful mothering to come.