Hugs and Kisses daycare

Today was another day where I heard about some cute or great thing Abby did at daycare and smiled and then cried in the car. When I first put Abby in daycare I asked a lot (I mean every mom I know with a child in daycare when the sadness/guilt subsides), no one answered me. Now I know why, it never gets easier to let some stranger raise your kid but you just suck it up and savor the moments you have. Today she walked half way across the play room by herself. I would quit my job to have seen it. I would sell my car. I would follow a renal, gluten free diet to be with her for moments like that. We haven't seen more than 4 steps. The first of many major mile stones I'll never see.

Lori is fantastic and so are all the kids and families that use her service. She had a Christmas party so we got to meet most of the other parents and she even got a gift for each child and each family. Every year she has a Halloween party, we weren't able to go last year but hope to this year. So don't get me wrong, Abby's in a great place. It's just not my arms or Tim's arms or our house. That is not the kind of mother I had hoped to be and I feel guilty about it everyday.

So what do I love about Hugs and Kisses daycare:
-When we get to the porch Abby is already excited to get in and play (of course I also really hate this because she doesn't always notice I left and I want her to miss me a little bit)
-When Abby comes in a little later the older kids get so excited she is there and shout "Abby's here, Abby's here".
-There are different toys to explore and play with then at our house.
-Lori's mother and 2 daughters (20 and 18 years old) adore Abby and it is obvious she is favorite whenever I go to pick her up.
-Lori is so flexible and will do anything you ask without any kind of hassle or debate
-We can walk there from our house.
-When Abby was younger and in the carseat you can carry them in she would cry when I would put her in and the two girls that are about 3 years old would come talk to her and pet her hair so I could get her ready.
-Whenever she wears her fleece with bear ears, the oldest girl at daycare sings "Abby's a bear, Abby's a bear" and twirls and dances around her and makes her smile.
-Lori does a craft with the older kids every day. I can't wait to get those things soon.
-Lori says when she has the learning circle Abby always comes to sit down and listens very intently like she knows what's going on.

All and all I feel blessed that we found Lori and the love that her family has shown to Abby eases the guilt but not the heartache. Hopefully by the time she starts school I'll have accepted that I can't spend every day with my sweet girl.