What's for dinner 2?

One of the reason's I love Tim is that he loves food. He's not too picky. I made one of his favorite dishes tonight because in between school and work he washed a ton of dishes. I asked him to wash one little pan and he washed several drying rack full loads. Secondly I made it for him because it is one of the easiest recipes ever. It also freezes great and has been a favorite of everyone that I have made it for.



Pasta Bake
1# ground beef ( I usually use ground turkey)
3/4 a box of rotini or penne
1 bag of mozzarella cheese
1 jar of spaghetti sauce
about 1/2 cup of parmesean cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Boil water for the noodles and start browning the meat. Once the noodles and meat are cooked combine in a 9x13 pan with the sauce and parmesean cheese. Stir so that sauce is evenly distributed and top with the mozzarella cheese. Bake for 15-18 minutes until cheese is melted and sauce is bubbley.

**I usually put some red pepper flakes in and sometimes add mushrooms and onions or maybe spinach to change it up. But Tim always likes it best just the 5 ingredient recipe above. I feed this to Abby for the first time today and she ate almost as big a portion as I did!!

What's your go to easy meal? I'm running out of ideas.

Hugs and Kisses daycare

Today was another day where I heard about some cute or great thing Abby did at daycare and smiled and then cried in the car. When I first put Abby in daycare I asked a lot (I mean every mom I know with a child in daycare when the sadness/guilt subsides), no one answered me. Now I know why, it never gets easier to let some stranger raise your kid but you just suck it up and savor the moments you have. Today she walked half way across the play room by herself. I would quit my job to have seen it. I would sell my car. I would follow a renal, gluten free diet to be with her for moments like that. We haven't seen more than 4 steps. The first of many major mile stones I'll never see.

Lori is fantastic and so are all the kids and families that use her service. She had a Christmas party so we got to meet most of the other parents and she even got a gift for each child and each family. Every year she has a Halloween party, we weren't able to go last year but hope to this year. So don't get me wrong, Abby's in a great place. It's just not my arms or Tim's arms or our house. That is not the kind of mother I had hoped to be and I feel guilty about it everyday.

So what do I love about Hugs and Kisses daycare:
-When we get to the porch Abby is already excited to get in and play (of course I also really hate this because she doesn't always notice I left and I want her to miss me a little bit)
-When Abby comes in a little later the older kids get so excited she is there and shout "Abby's here, Abby's here".
-There are different toys to explore and play with then at our house.
-Lori's mother and 2 daughters (20 and 18 years old) adore Abby and it is obvious she is favorite whenever I go to pick her up.
-Lori is so flexible and will do anything you ask without any kind of hassle or debate
-We can walk there from our house.
-When Abby was younger and in the carseat you can carry them in she would cry when I would put her in and the two girls that are about 3 years old would come talk to her and pet her hair so I could get her ready.
-Whenever she wears her fleece with bear ears, the oldest girl at daycare sings "Abby's a bear, Abby's a bear" and twirls and dances around her and makes her smile.
-Lori does a craft with the older kids every day. I can't wait to get those things soon.
-Lori says when she has the learning circle Abby always comes to sit down and listens very intently like she knows what's going on.

All and all I feel blessed that we found Lori and the love that her family has shown to Abby eases the guilt but not the heartache. Hopefully by the time she starts school I'll have accepted that I can't spend every day with my sweet girl.

The birthday letter

Every year Marsha writes a letter to each child on their birthday, remembering everything that happened that year and telling them how proud she is of them. Usually it's a private letter but sometimes it's posted on the wall at the party. I love this idea and told myself when I got pregnant that I was going to do this. Well it has been 8 days since she turned one and I can't write that letter. Just thinking about what I want to say makes me all misty and emotional. I want to tell her the story of her birth, what the first few days were like, what I love most about her, how far she has come, how much I love her and miss her every single day when I have to leave her at daycare. But I just can't do it. How does Marsha do it year after year - with graduations, new babies, weddings, huge career changes? So tonight I'm going to pour myself a glass of wine and just jump in and do it. Then Tim will come home and wonder what I've been crying about and all I'll be able to say is, Our baby is 1.

1st Birthday

We had several kind offers to host Abigail Ruth's first birthday, what a blessing. Not having it at our house gave me plenty of time to get emotional about my baby moving to the next chapter of her young life. No cleaning, food prep, decorating. It was fantastic. We just picked up the cake from Grebe's and got on our way. Location: Saint Francis, Grandpa Dave's house Menu: Turkey and gravy, Sloppy Joes, GiGi's famous baked beans, potato salad, veggie/pasta salad, Grandma Kathy's delicious veggie pizza, several other dips and munchies. Attendees: All 6 of Abby's Great Grandparents, All 4 of her Grandparents, Her favorite playmate Kayden and most of her Uncles and her Aunts. Unfortunately our nephew/Godson was seriously ill so his family could not make it. They were missed. Highlights:

Kayden teaching Abby were her fingers, nose and ears are.

How excited she was to open the first two presents. I love this picture bc you can see KC coming behind her with a gift. He kept telling her to open her presents and if she didn't open them he would bring them to her and explain what they were. He really liked the ball.

Biggest highlight Abby hamming it up for the camera with her cake. This was my favorite poise.

Here love of balloons.

She did not like cake but she ate every last bit of frosting on that cake. Very daintily at first, one little finger swipe at a time. She never really dove in but she finally got some mess on her face. She sat in that chair at least a half hour poising and eating her frosting like the little lady she is. It was a great party with only one minor tantrum. It was amazing to have my whole family together just loving that crazy little girl.

Happy Birthday Abby.

1 year update

3 miserable shots and lots of crying. I couldn't understand why she was so emotional this time but when we got to the car I saw we had been there 45 minutes. Guess I had too many questions for the doctor but she's so easy to talk to. I absolutely love our pediatrician. First thing she said was "Mom, you got your haircut. It's really cute". She's so personable and has an amazing memory. After our first visit, the doctor called me to see how Tim and I were handling things. She said "first shots are more traumatic for the parents then the child". She always has such kind words and Abby actually reaches for her to pick her up. I think part of it is that they make the poor nurses give the shots so Ab's always suspicious of them. Any worry I have ever had she has given a clear explanation and then told a personal antidote about her own parenting experiences. It's amazing that Tim picked her name from a brochure the day we were discharging the hospital and she has been a perfect match for us. Her lead and anemia tests were normal. Her height was 29.5 inches (55th%ile). I was looking back at her old stats. She was 75-90th percentile for height for most of her little life. I don't want her to be so short like me. Alot of my friends worry about their children's weights and here I am worrying about her being short like most of my family. I just want her to be 5'8". That's a magic number to me. Tall enough to always look amazing but not too tall to tower over your husband. She continues to fall lower on the weight curve like all children this age. She was 20lb 13 oz (45th%ile) and still has her dad's gigantic head (90th%ile). Tim asked me if we should be worried that her head is so much bigger than her body. Of course I did ask this question and she said they only worry if there is a big jump up or down. Maybe she'll be an absolute genius with all the room for a big brain. No ear infection this time but her ear was red so we have yet another antibiotic because she still has a cold and Dr K wants to make sure it doesn't become another infection. Obstacles to come: 1)The doctor wrote on our sheets "Stop bottle now". Abigail has always transitioned well, better than us. It's just so easy. I don't want to give it up. I love snuggling her while she drinks. I asked realistically when this should be done and she said 15 months. Well, maybe we'll wait until after vacation then. 2) Eating. I asked her is there "like a food guide pyramid for toddlers. What do we give her? How much?". Of course she said just keep offering her different fruits and veggies and a cookie now and then. "everyone needs a cookie". This is going to be challenging for me as she begins to have opinions about foods and starts being picky. Tim is not picky at all - the only think he doesn't like is black olives. I don't know how I'll handle a true food critic. I love cooking. It's the only think I really feel I'm good at. Also I'm going to constantly worry about her Vitamin D levels, her prealbumin, her hct/hgb. Sometimes working in health care is a curse. 3) Teaching her to be nice to the cat. This is one thing I forgot to ask about. At least every other day I just want to throw in the towel and give the cat to a nice couple in their 70s or 80s that she can snuggle with and get the attention we can't give her because we are trying to protect her from Abby's constant attacks. What's she doing now? Stacking blocks - amazing to me. Putting shapes into her shape sorter. Cruising and climbing everywhere. "Reading". Dancing. Giving hugs. Waving bye bye as soon as you put her coat on. Crying whenever Tim has to leave for work or we leave her at a babysitters house. Feeding (I use this word loosely) herself with a spoon. Walking in shoes. Listening attentively in the learning circle at daycare. And a ton of other things I can't think of now. Here's hoping we won't be back into the doctor for 3 more months. Fingers crossed.

What's for dinner?

I guess my dinner chat was subpar today. She had half her meal like this with her head resting on her hand like she was totally bored.

Before I had a baby I watched a lot of Food Network and Rachel Ray made this amazing Chicken Fajita Soup. I found the recipe online and then lost it. Thanks to Zanger I have an even better recipe. I love cooking something healthy for my family and this recipe is delicious and low fat. Check it out at http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Easy-Chicken-Fajita-Soup/Detail.aspx.

A Shoe Story

This last weekend we had a family gathering in which, brace yourself, Abby did not have shoes on. I know! What a neglectful, abusive parent. Since she can't walk and we were going to be sitting the whole time at a restaurant I did not see a problem. Nearly every member of this side of my family however commented on her lack of foot wear and I fear that she will now be getting only shoes for her birthday gifts. So today Abby and I went to the mall, one of my most hated places to go, to fit her little feet for her first pair of shoes that she will hopefully wear. She usually just wiggles out of the fashion shoes she was given as a baby so I haven't been in any hurry. We went to Payless where they measured her tiny feet and she looked at the saleswoman as if she was insane for touching her feet. Then we went to look at the selection. Abby was not interested at all because there was a little boy running around that she was watching. So we bought some shoes for outside, if it ever gets warm again, and some cute shoes for her 1 year photo session this weekend. They are so tiny and cute. I couldn't wait to put them on her feet and take her outside. As soon as I tied the first one she started crying and crying. I grabbed one of her favorite toys and headed out to the deck anyway. She'll cheer up in the sunshine, right??

Apparently I might as well have put her in cement shoes, she stood like this for several minutes, afraid or unable to move.

So I thought she might be more comfortable scooting back on her bike, she can't scoot forward yet. This was only more upsetting. Well how about trying to walk Abby? She stood and stood and whimpered and "yelled" at me. She did not take a single step no matter what I tried to use to bribe her. What a little diva. Guess she's not that into shoes just like her parents. Well at least I had a good time.