A good friend told me that she didn't really have post-partum depression until her baby was about 6 months. I love Abigail more every day and can't believe the things she can do. Every night I can't wait to wake up to see her smile and hear her say da-da and na-na and sometimes faintly I think a ma. She's such a good tempered girl and a great sleeper. I wouldn't say I'm depressed per se, delayed baby blues maybe. Feels more like a mid life crisis to me even though with my genes it would be a 1/3 life crisis. Today at home on this cold Wisconsin night I just need to mourn my old life.
-I miss long walks at night with Tim. When we first started dating he was a bartender and I was a waitress so these walks might not even be until 11pm. Didn't matter the season we just liked to get some air. Sometimes he goes alone at night now, he always encourages me to go but it's just not the same.
-I miss long talks at night without having to worry about waking up early with a baby.
-I miss meeting friends on the spur of the moment. We are blessed to have a large healthy active family but it's much harder to find a babysitter than we ever imagined. Everyone lives just far enough away to make it difficult and everyone has a lot on their social plates.
-I miss sleeping in and napping whenever I want. When I don't work the weekends we take turns waking up which helps. But it's just not the same. You hear that little girl giggling and babbling down there and you just can't stay in bed. You just want to play. Sometimes I miss being pregnant because I had such great naps then.
-I miss working out before work. Zanger and I worked out together twice a week before I was pregnant and a couple months in. Thanks to her encouragement and motivation I had the endurance I needed for Abby's long dramatic entrance into this world. She works so hard to stay healthy and fit it is constant inspiration to me. Plus she is a great listener and always has an amazing compliament to turn the day around. We're going to be able to meet Mondays again which I am looking forward to but I never thought I'd be waking up at 5am to go to the gym.
-I miss reading. Oh how I miss reading. I never thought sitting down with a book would be a luxury. Now when I do have time to read I can think of 12 other things I want/need to do too. Currently I'm reading last month's book club book and this one at the same time. 21 days to go. Hope I can make it through.
-I miss the TG and JG annual road trips. He is really excited to try it this year but I just can't imagine it with a little one. We'll see, we're still saving money to go. Oh and camping. I forgot about camping. What's not to love about camping - delicious food, campfires, stars, the great outdoors, sleeping bags, hiking. Oh camping how I miss you.
Goodbye young Jessa (aka: Jecca, Ssej, Juicy, Sica, Gates, Lil' One). It was a good ride. You have now entered the part of your life that really matters. Enjoy it. In 30 years if your bones aren't too brittle you'll get to walk whenever you want, read all weekend long if your eyes haven't failed you, and be sad about all the things you miss about your sweet little girl - well if you don't have early onset dementia.
I agree. Not the same. But as my mom often reminds me, "You wouldn't have been happy if things just stayed the same...remember that, Peggy." (Insert Jessica) :)
ReplyDeleteI think of all those things, but it gets EASIER. As they keep on learning and growing and doing..you'll be happy with the priorities and adventures of your new life more and more. But in my opinion..it's just fine if we take some time to reminisce about the fabulous memories of our youth and those yet to come! Hang in there and enjoy the ride. The camping will come. The family trips, too. It'll all come in due time. and GOOD FOR YOU for setting aside money for fun and travel.
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