The 'dert

A lot of people, well probably most people I know, think someone that is a dietitian or a dietitic technician work in the kitchen and make food. I think that is why people don't understand how drained I can feel at the end of the day.

I'm not sure if it is because the holidays are coming up but a lot of my patients have been sadder than usual lately. Today for the 2nd time in a week a grown man was crying in front of me. For some reason seeing a man cry is harder for me than seeing a baby cry. I think it's because men don't cry, so for him to be that overwhelmed he must be having some strong feelings.

Lately it seems to be that my job is more of a counselor than a nutrition expert. People will talk food with me for 5 minutes and then starting talking about their family dynamics, loved ones they have lost, how close they came to dying or how close they are too dying. They tell me how much they love their grandkids and are hoping to see this or that event. Today this man told me he was glad that the flight for life came so his grandbabies wouldn't watch him die. What do you say to a man like that?

The most amazing part to me is that 9 times out of 10 these patients are crying but telling the story with great humor. Crying with these genuine smiles on their faces. It makes the petty jealousies and feuds between my co-workers that much more obscene to me when one floor above us people are fighting to learn how to walk, talk or even swallow. Those are real problems to me. We are all in good health, have supportive family members and friends. We have jobs and a warm place to sleep. We have cars and food. We can choice what stores we buy this food at. We have a coat and hats and gloves and boots. We can walk and swallow thin liquids.

Sure I get involved in this mini dramas like everyone else, but things are changing for me. I want to be the kind of person that goes to bed thinking about what a great life I have instead of the little things that got me down today. Then when something really bad does happen I hope that I will be able to face it with courage, good humor and hope like the many special people that have crossed my life because of my job at the 'dert. I hope that everyday I will be able to go home and really be with Abby and not just in the same room. This is my new's year resolution to be more positive and appreciate what I do have.

Today's Inspiration

Every day at work we have a "rally", an informal meeting where our boss gives us updates and fields questions. The rally ends with a quote. One of my co-worker's brought this quote and I read every morning now.

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of outer people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary"
-Steve Jobs

Pumpkins

I just can't get myself to toss our jack-o-lanterns. Abby had so much carving and looking at the pumpkins. She's trying so hard to say pumpkin but it does not sound even close. Look at this cute girl in action:

Trying to help Daddy carve.

Scooping out about 2 seeds a try.

The end products.

Putting the candles in, taking the candles out, repeat x 50.

Our Halloween sweetie.

Halloween

No, she didn't "get it". But boy did she have fun. For trick or treat we went to Mukwonago to trick or treat with the cousins and see Uncle Jay home on leave. The boys all had great costumes - a baby skunk, a ninja, spiderman (of course), Scobby and Shaggy. Abby would only allow us to put her in the piglet costume. Of we went into the blustery October weather, we made it half way around the block before the rain started. Once in awhile Abby would chase after Kayden and go to one of the houses. I think she made it up to 4 houses and she got 9 pieces of candy, of which she was able to eat one. Mostly she enjoyed holding Grandma's umbrella.

My favorite moments:
-The first house Kristian was running to the neighbor, fell face first and was still shouting trick or treat as he lay on her lawn.
-Kayden showing his muscles to black spiderman (he's apparantly a bad guy)
-Shaggy's crazy wig.
-The cobra kai like label on Aaron's ninja costume.
-Abby just running around the neighborhood with no agenda or direction.
-Kayden teaching Abby all about spider man and black spiderman (see photo below)



The saturday before Halloween Tricia took us to the zoo. We didn't dress up Abby because she still hated costumes but we enjoyed all the other kids costumes. Abby loved the train and the loin cubs. She cried so hard when we had to get off and couldn't go back on the train.

It was a great Halloween.

Better

One of the reasons I get stressed out so easily is I'm the kind of person that is always thinking about what I could have done better. Today with the time change we were able to eat breakfast and get ready go to church. I made breakfast last night to make things easier for us - pumpkin cranberry muffins and a veggie breakfast strata (I'll be posting the recipes on cheap thoughts soon). We got to church almost on time. Abby was kind of wild so we took her to the nursery. She didn't cry the whole time, just played by herself happily.

Next we went to the park. The wind had really kicked up since we went to church. We didn't have a coat for Abby because I thought it was in my car bu we had a thin hoodie. All the other kids had winter coats. Abby was in heaven running around, sliding, swinging and even petting a friendly dog. Instead of completely savoring the smiles and laughter I kept looking for one other kid not properly dressed. We should have been better prepared.

Then comes the saga of lunch. We haven't made it to church on time since summer so we usually eat late breakfast and Tim and I aren't hungry until dinner. On and on we went figuring out what to do, sticking to the budget is so hard. But we picked up two things from PNS and were able to stay on track. But in my head "I should have better planned Sunday's meals and we didn't have a vegetable at lunch". Don't get me wrong I don't always have vegetables at lunch, usually I don't but I've been making a big effort lately so that adds to my stressors.

Now I finished making lasagna for dinner tonight and am making some meals for the week and wondering why I didn't plan more easy dishes.

Dear

Cheap thoughts

I made a decision a few years after college in my first “career” that I needed a change. I dropped out of law school and left my job at a non-profit agency to waitress at Baker’s Square while getting an associate’s degree in dietitics. Does that sound like the act of a lunatic?? Luckily for me no one in my family ever questioned me or made me feel bad about these decisions.

I always knew I wanted to be a mom and I knew I would stay at home and bake brownies until they went to first grade. But now here I sit working full time for $6 less an hour than my husband that works a factory job. I would not change these decisions because without them I would not have my husband or our sweet little girl but I do want more.

I’m in the process of cutting my working hours to spent more time home. I have taken out dozens of books from the library on budgeting and cooking on a tight budget. H0wever, I couldn’t find any blogs on this subject so with the encouragement of a new friend I'm branching out and starting a new blog. Come visit me at http://cheapthoughtsbyjgrutzie.wordpress.com/ I look forward to sharing my thoughts and recipes with you, and getting your ideas in return. Now let’s pinch some pennies and make some delicious meals.

Which would you choose?