Emerson - 1 month

Hi friends and family.  Emerson just wanted to give a little wave and a smile.  

 Thursday we had his one month appointment and after asking the doctor why our baby always seems so sad and he went into a full Emerson screaming fit for her pleasure we received a prescription for anti-reflux medication.  I have never been more proud of my little guy.

He's taken 3 doses and he seems so much better.  He is still spitting up but not every time he eats.  Grandma Kathy even gave him a 2 oz bottle that he kept down today!!!  This made me happiest of all because know I can leave the house GUILT FREE.  It also means Tim and I can take turns putting Abby to bed because he can give Emerson a bottle.  Also, he's taken several naps today, did tummy time, sat in his bouncy sit contently for 35 minutes, and "played" in his play yard with Abby without crying.  This is how I remember it being with Abby and I feel so relieved.  He still has small crying fits but things are looking much better.  It's so frustrating to know your child is hurting and that there is nothing you can do to help.

 His stats this month were 10# 10 oz (75th% ile), head was 75th% ile and length 22 1/2 inches (85th % ile).  Uncle Jay says he's going to be a big boy like his uncle and Daddy.
  

Emerson started smiling at Thanksgiving and a few days later started making cooing sounds.  He's very interested in what Abby is doing when she isn't right in his face.  He sleeps in his swing or the car seat so his meals will stay down and can sleep for 4-5 hours at night if he is comfortable.

Abby is in love and in many ways too helpful.  She wants to carry him, burp him, dress him, shove his nuk in his face and show him how to play with every toy they both own.  For the first few weeks of his life she called him "baby person" but has taken to calling him Emerson.  Tim and I miss it but know this nickname will stick with the rest of our family even if Abby doesn't say it anymore.  She is a really loving sister just a little too strong and loud, but she is so helpful getting me towels, burp rags and throwing away diapers as I need it.  Her temper tantrums are getting stronger and longer so this weekend will be a special one for Abby.  Saturday she will have an adventure with just Daddy and Sunday with just Mommy.  That's right folks, Mommy is going to give up precious football time for this little girl.

Waiting

He only sleeps this good in someone's arms.

Have you ever seen an infant spit up/vomit so hard that it is pouring out of their nose and mouth?  It's pretty traumatic and unfortunately I've seen this 4 or 5 times now in 2 weeks.  I'm typing with one hand, wishing Tim was home and waiting for the nurse to call.

Last week the pediatrician told me all babies have reflux and since he gained weight they don't need to treat it.  With each day I grow more anxious about feeding him.  He always seems hungry but the doctor said they spit up the extra they take in.  Common advice is to give small, frequent meals.  What does that mean?  How often and how long?  How do I know how much he is getting?  To all the patients I have given this advise to I apologize.

I'm really not prepared for this.  All my pregnancy worries were about how would this baby affect Abby.  So here I sit worrying, wondering, wishing and doubting myself.  Hoping there will be advise soon to ease his discomfort and my anxiety.  Come on phone please ring.

The second child

 It's official, I have a full blown case of mama guilt.  I'm trying hard to enjoy these first days at home with two but you're stretched so thin it's hard to ever feel like you are doing a good job.

I feel guilty that Emerson is not getting the attention that Abby did when she was born from us and the extended family.  Yes, that is true but he won't remember right?  I feel guilty because we don't take a dozen pictures a day of him.  In fact a whole week probably went by that we didn't get a photo.  I feel guilty for continually comparing him to Abby -super baby, one of the easiest babies ever born.

Abby is as wild as ever, which prior to a second child I loved.  Everything she said or did was so funny or cute to me, unless she was harassing the cat.  Now all these endearing qualities drive me insane.  I worry that she feels left out or less loved because Mom is busy more often and doesn't play as much.  I hate that she has picked up the catch phrase "not yet", because we say it too often to her now.  I worry that at night when she is crying about having more milk or a certain stuffed animal or a diaper change that she is really saying I need one more hug.   I worry that she's not as happy as she used to be.

 But these pictures of Abby with her little brother give me hope that despite all this hardship for Tim and I now, that these two will be close.  I hope that they will love each other their whole lifes and be each other's first call (well maybe second after Mom) with all good or bad news in their lifes.  I hope that they will be good to each other and close friends.  I hope that their kids will grow up together and share every birthday.  I hope they will be in each other weddings. I hope their spouses get a long.

Most of all I hope that they will have as much fun together as these little rascals did and that they will always have each other to go to when mom and dad are driving them crazy.

Boo at the Zoo

Fall is my favorite time of year - Oktoberfest beer, jack-o-lanterns, roasted pumpkin seeds, pumpkin cranberry muffins, beautiful colors of the leaves, and trick or treat.  I've been really worried that I'll miss trick or treat so I convinced my sweet husband to go to Boo at the Zoo so I would have some memories of Halloween and this cute little zebra.

She loved it.  Up past her bedtime, the stars in the sky and "zoo animals" sleeping.  And I am resting better feeling like I'm not missing so much of her Halloween experience after all.

"Ome on Dad"

"I zebra. I zebra."

She loves this gorilla, has to sit by it every time now.

She saw some big kids sit here so she had to have a turn.

Playtime

If they gave licenses for homeowners I don't think Tim and I would pass the test.  After almost 5 years we have finally done some home projects.  In an effort to alleviate my guilt that Abby will feel neglected with the new baby, we changed a useless room into a small "playroom".  A place that Abby can hang out in but is not for babies.

Abby and baby "taking a nap", before we moved the toys in.

Hamming in up in her playroom.

Princess P

My favorite thing about this age is that she narrates everything she does.  She talks nonstop at home, even when she is playing by herself.  Some of our new favorite words and phrases:

-What's this?

-What doing, Cassie/mama/daddy?

-My try

-I wanna have it.

-I'm reading (whenever you ask her to do something she doesn't want to do).  She's really saying leave me alone

- You coming. or Om on.

-I wanna take a bass (bath).

She has been into pretend play for  along time now.  Right now she loves pretending to be a cat or a Cassie, a dog, a T-rex, a baby adigator or a T-Rex.  She'll sit with her little people zoo animals for up to 30 minutes acting out some scenario about a mommy, daddy and baby.  Just in time she has gotten into taking care of her baby including putting her to bed or down for a nap, giving her a drink, giving her a ride or in one interesting moment a timeout.  Hopefully she'll be into helping us out with baby stuff.

Her favorite places to go are the zoo, story time, either one of her grandma's houses and any local park.  I can't wait to be able to walk instead of waddle so we can go to the zoo and park more often like we used to.

I've really been soaking her in these last few weeks.  My big baby girl, love her so much.

39, feels like 79

This is how I feel today.

39 weeks pregnant with a toddler and a husband working mandatory overtime is exhausting.  My hips hurt, my bladder isn't what it used to be.  I feel like I should go check into a nursing home.  I'm just so tired that anything you would say to me today would probably make me cry.

This pregnancy has been much harder on me emotionally then the first one.  No matter what I do I can't get enough sleep because I'm so worried about something to come or feel guilty about something that happened that day.  We have decided to stop giving Abby naps because she can't settle down at night until 9:30-10:00 pm when she takes one.  It has been working great, she sleeps 11-12 hours a night and is usually asleep at 7:30-8:00 pm now.  She now has quiet time in her room for an hour while Mommy takes a nap.  This is the best sleep I get all day.

So how do we fix my night time sleeping?  I just can't turn my mind off.  

-When will this baby come?  Abby was 6 days early so that would be tomorrow.

-Will Abby feel like we don't love her anymore when the baby comes?

-How will the baby's sleep schedule affect my already bad temper when I can't sleep well?

-Will Abby wake up in the night because the baby is sleeping?

-Will this baby sleep through the night before I go back to work like Abby did?

-How will I manage two when sometimes just one is so overwhelming when I'm tired?

-What will Tim's role be in this new scenario? 

-Are all the people that say they will help really going to help?  Will I let them help or be too proud?

-Will this delivery go better?  Will I hemorrhage again?

-Do we make enough money to have two kids?

-Will I ever not be tired again?

-I am so much bigger this time, will I be able to accept my new body after this baby?

I could go on and on but that's just a few of my reoccurring worries.

What was your biggest worry the second or third or fourth time around?

You gotta fight, for your right, to party

So Abby is in a phase where she is a party animal.  "I no sleepy" and  "I no wanna bed" are common phrases in our house.  Sometimes it's funny to me that my friend with a 4 month old and I are waking up with our children almost the same amount of times nightly and other nights I wonder if she would trade kids.  I think I would be less mad at the 4 month old because I wouldn't feel like he's pulling one over on me.  Plus he's not my kid so probably would be less annoying.  Maybe I'll ask her tomorrow:)

Tonight we start strategy #???.  Every 5 minutes I'm going in there and just putting her back in her bed.  No kisses, no words, no pats on the head.  Just scoop and drop.  I'm getting pretty sick of it I wonder when she will.

So far I have found her in the closet playing with "bears", her build a bear.  Then she was playing with her book case.  The next time I'm not sure what she was doing because she ran into bed after she made a loud noise.  This incident helped me keep my resolve because now I KNOW she knows she should be in bed.  She will not break me tonight.  The next time I saw she put "bears" in her old crib and then went to read some books.  However, she did not turn her lamp on.  She KNOWS, doesn't she that she is being naughty?  This time she put her arm across her forehead.  I hope this is a sign of defeat and in 2 minutes when I check she will be in here bed.  

My first success!!  She is laying in bed but totally awake.  Never mind I already hear her walking around.

Look how cute she is when she sleeps, hope it happens soon.